There are times in my life where stresses start stacking up in everything. Work, church, and life all seem to be too overwhelming. I’m confused, frustrated, annoyed, and feeling extremely inadequate. These are the moments I become the most selfish. I start feeling really sorry for myself and complain and whine about how unfair life is. You know, the whole ‘woe is me’ bit. I start to think that everything is about me. This usually lasts for a few days and then Jesus abruptly interrupts to remind me that it isn’t about me. He bluntly says, ‘Katie, it’s not about you even a little bit.’
This is where I am today. Christ reminding me of the gospel. Christ reminding me of what he did for me in his death and resurrection. Christ reminding me that really it’s all about him and his kingdom. It’s a sobering experience. Coming to the place of complete undoing. Coming to the place of realizing I really am inadequate. Coming to the place of understanding I am nothing without Christ. My life is to be a reflection of him. My life is to always be glorifying to him.
I’m continually having to be reminded that sometimes the confusion and frustration of life is what pushes me to depend on him even more. In those moments, he breaks me in order to redirect me. I’ve become too comfortable with myself. I’ve started puffing myself up too much thinking, ‘Man, I’m doing some awesome things.’ He has to knock me down for me to realize it’s all about him. It’s all about the gospel. It’s all about sacrificing myself and my comforts for him and his kingdom. It’s hard, and it can get pretty ugly. But, then I remember the cross was hard. The cross was ugly. And it ushered in a new and glorious day. A day in which Christ reigns victorious and brings new life to a sick a dying world. That’s what it’s about, folks. And that’s what I will cling to today.
‘But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.’ Philippians 3:7,8